Again, the point of this post and the previous is to elucidate the importance of using humor while attacking political opponents.
On October 31, 2004 in Los Lunas, New Mexico - 5pm MST (text here)
- "Well, I don't know how much you've noticed about our opponent, Senator Kerry, of course. He went goose hunting the other day in Ohio. (Laughter.) He wore a new camouflage jacket for the occasion -- (laughter) -- which made me wonder how often he'd been goose hunting before. (Laughter.) My personal opinion is his camo jacket is an October disguise. (Laughter.) It's an effort he's making to hide the fact that he votes against gun owners every chance he gets. You want my opinion of the whole thing: John Kerry's goose is cooked. (Laughter and applause.)"
- "For John Kerry it's all about politics rather than principle. After the bin Laden tape aired the other night, John Kerry's campaign ran a poll to see what his response should be. (Laughter.) He put his finger in the air to see which way the wind was blowing. My friends, let me say that George Bush doesn't need a poll to know where he stands in the war on terror. (Applause.)"
- "He offered a ridiculous explanation which, frankly, I think will go down in the history of American politics. He said, and I quote, "I actually voted for the $87 billion before I voted against it." (Laughter.) But the real reason he turned his back on our troops was Howard Dean -- Dean was the antiwar candidate; Dean was surging ahead in the polls; and so John Kerry in order to advance himself in the primaries, turned his back on our troops. He said his vote was "complicated." (Laughter.) But, my friends, supporting American troops in combat should never be a complicated matter. (Applause.)"
- "Now in the closing days of the campaign, John Kerry is running around, talking tough. He's trying every which way to cover up his record of weakness on national defense. But he can't do it. It won't work. As we like to say in Wyoming, you can put all the lipstick you want on that pig, but it's still a pig. (Laughter and applause.) That's my favorite line. (Laughter.) You want to hear it again?
AUDIENCE: Yes!
THE VICE PRESIDENT: As we say in Wyoming -- (laughter) -- you can put all the lipstick you want on that pig, but at the end of the day it's still a pig. (Applause.) All right, I've got to concentrate here. (Laughter.) John Kerry does not have the judgment or the conviction that America needs in a President. He is not a steadfast leader."
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